Here’s what helped cure my massive pain and PTSD

It took me years to discover that my PTSD is not my essential nature.

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a mental health condition that’s triggered by experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. Symptoms may include nightmares, flashbacks, and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event or even oneself.

One day I separated my true self from the trauma, this was a huge step. I thought I was the one that was fucked up. That my essence was somehow really bad and nasty. When I clearly realized it’s just neural programs, then the clarity arrived that I could change it.

I chose to transform my PTSD

After working with numerous healing professionals, doctors of every sort, and a huge variety of healing modalities, and achieving less than stellar results, I decided to heal myself.

The seeds of my PTSD began when I was a fetus. And then as a small child, I was sexually abused by my father. On top of this, my Dad brought home the energetic frequencies of exploding nuclear bombs. He built bombs and he came home emitting the awe, terror, and radioactive frequency of 131 bombs. My Mom was a narcissistic alcoholic who was emotionally unavailable.

The neural programs PTSD were entwined in my nervous system in my childhood. Of course, at the time I had no idea. It’s taken me seventy-three years to unravel.

Layers of trauma keep building up

What I know now is that until the early trauma is healed, layer upon layer keeps getting triggered, and more and more trauma occurs.

When I was a teenager the pain was so bad that the family doctor would come to the house in the middle of the night and shoot me up with morphine. On one of these drugged up nights, I was raped by my cousin, with my parents in the room next-door.

The trauma continued to build. The neural bundles grew. By the time I was 60 I lost all my money in the stock market, almost everything I owned was stolen out of storage, and I was living in massive physical, mental, and emotional pain. Homeless, I camped out in my tent in the Colorado Rockies. On the day I planned to kill myself, the words ‘choose gratitude’ erupted from my guts.

My Path

I’ve been unwinding the neural bundles and pathways that created the pain and suffering in my life. I’ve developed technologies to heal myself. I figured out how to transform plutonium radiation, changed my hypoglycemia, and dissolved the constant zapping pain in my neck. I’ve also healed my trigeminal neuralgia, known as the suicide disease because it’s so fucking painful. I’ve transformed a lifetime of headaches, feeling like a piece of shit, and worthless scum. I learned how to love myself, a love that I had never known or experienced before.

When I’m in the middle of triggered trauma I can’t remember anything

I have a list of what works for me and keep it handy. Different things work at different times, somethings will work for a while and then stop working and then other things will start working. I’ve learned to trust and follow whatever arises. It’s usually not logical at all, but it’s exactly what I’m needing.

The list

I’m offering this list to you with the desire that it will trigger hope that you too can choose a new life. Your list will be different from mine, but maybe a few things on my list will work for you.

My hope is that by revealing what I know, I can assist others to forgo what I’ve lived through.

1. First, choose to change your reality

Ask yourself this question, “Do I want to live the rest of my life feeling like I do right now?”

The most important first step is to decide to live in a different reality. When you make the choice, new doors will open, information and people will start showing up to assist you to see your life, health, and reality from a different perspective.

2. Spirals of gratitude and love ❤️

Spiral love and gratitude through the cells of your body. Giving thanks for the trauma and pain seems counterintuitive, but it works. It’s based on quantum physics, not left-brain logic.

Meeting gratitude in meditation is not enough, you need to see or envision the gratitude moving in a counter-clockwise spiral, like a corkscrew burying deep into the pain and trauma.

Spiral gratitude throughout your body. An alchemical reaction starts to take place when there’s enough energy to reach critical mass. Imagine a spiral like a corkscrew sweeping through multi-dimensions, clearing out the debris. Spirals of gratitude clean out all the cobwebs in your brain and clean out all of the slimy goo that’s built up in the lower part of your body. See a double helix spiral that spins from your base, up through your heart, all the way up to the top of your head. This way, all parts of your body come to life and are filled with love.

3. No sugar, alcohol, or coffee

No sugar was a tough one for me. I stopped cold turkey forty-five years ago. The detox process was not pretty, and back in 1973, I’d never heard of a healing crisis.

My hair was coated in grease. I’d wash it two to three times a day and it still was a mess. I took three or four baths a day and after each bath, the tub was lined with a ring of black tar-like goo. My body smelled, I had vicious bad breath. I couldn’t get the toxins off my body fast enough. This went on for three weeks.

Finally one day for about an hour I had a glimpse of no headache. This was the first time in my life I experienced no headache, I was 27. I had no idea everyone didn’t live with a constant headache, I thought it was normal to live in neverending pain.

4. Be gentle with yourself

At times I would binge on sugar. I’d eat a whole bag of cookies in one sitting. I realized I’d been addicted to sugar my whole life. Sugar is forty times more addictive than cocaine.

I had no frame of reference for a pain-free life. Learning how to live without pain was like learning how to walk and talk all over again. At times it was overwhelming. I knew I didn’t want a headache, but the pain was familiar, I knew how to function. I didn’t know how to function without pain. It was a huge learning process that was stressful at times. The old neural programs of pain and trauma felt safe because it was all that I knew.

5. Flower Essences and Essential oils

I love flower essences and essential oils. Rescue Remedy is a good one, plus there are numerous great essences and oils you can google.

6. Binary beats

Binary beats to sync your brain. I’ve noticed that sometimes when my nervous system is triggered, the right and left hemispheres of my brain are not in sync. I’ve found some binary beats I like on YouTube. Use headphones to get the best results.

7. Gut flora

I was shocked to discover how eating for my gut flora had such a huge impact on my PTSD. A lot of my PTSD is related to inflammation, and 70% of all inflammation starts in your guts. I had no idea until I experienced it.

8. CBD Oil

CBD oil has been shown to relieve radiation, inflammation, and stress. It was very helpful in transforming my PTSD.

9. Yoga and The Five Tibetan Rites

I found some good YouTube videos on yoga and the Five Tibetan Rites. At the time I was too messed up to try to get to a yoga class, so I followed along on my computer and had great results.

10. Loving yourself

The more I can love my pain, trauma, and messed-up parts, the quicker they start to heal. Imagine a scared child, huddling in the corner in rags with matted hair, starving for attention and love. That is what our trauma looks like inside. Love yourself, all the way down to your core.

11. Your nervous system needs to feel safe

Put your back against the couch, curl up under a blanket, and relax. Your spine needs to be protected so your nervous system feels safe enough to transform.

12. Thank yourself

Thank yourself for being brave and courageous for everything you’ve gone through. You are the only one who knows the extent of what you have lived through. Go in and thank your body, cells, and nervous system for still being alive.

13. Journaling

Writing out what I’m experiencing helps to gain distance from the trauma. Then take it a step further and bring in forgiveness, love, and gratitude to your body, your mind, and everything you’ve lived through.

14. Epsom salt baths

Epsom salt baths help to draw out the toxins, relax your body and make you feel wonderful. Try candlelight and beautiful music.

15. Healthy foods

Foods laden with chemicals trigger the neural responses linked to PTSD. Eat good food and take great care of your wonderful body. It’s the only one you have, it’s your vehicle here on earth. Imagine your body is a fabulous car, one that you want to take excellent care of.

16. Listen to audios

Listen to audios that calm your nervous system and bring in messages of love, joy, and well-being.

17. Nature walks

Walk in nature to rejuvenate your soul and connect to the nurturing earth. Find a few favorite places you love in nature and visit them often.

18. Call in your soul frequency

The high frequency of your soul is stronger than any pain or trauma. Imagine your soul energy is a wave that ripples through your body, breaking up the nerve bundles holding the trauma. Feel the love and joy of your soul frequency rippling through your body bringing in unconditional love.

19. Play

Spend time playing, doing things you love. Playing with your friends, enjoying your life.

20. Muscle testing

At times I don’t know what to do when. I use muscle testing to see what my body wants to help transform. One of my favorite methods of muscle testing is to hold the food, essence, or item in front of my belly. If my body leans forward, then it is something that is good for me at that moment. If my body leans back, then it’s not good for me at that moment.

When I’m in the thick of it, it’s hard to remember the truth of who I am.

Remember the truth of who you are

Overtime as more of my nerve bundles start to unwind, it’s easier to get out of the cycle of PTSD. PTSD is not the truth of who you are. It’s a fucked up neural program, added onto over the course of your life, that’s not you.

I thought the PTSD was somehow part of my soul. But that’s not true. My soul is pure. My neural programs are carrying the dysfunction that I inherited from my family. It’s not even my fault.

I’ve been weighted down by the burden of my father and my lineage. This is huge to comprehend. We are all carrying the burden of patriarchy. Your dysfunction, ingrained in your childhood or inherited from your lineage, is not the truth of who you are.

You have the power to transform your PTSD. The first step is choosing to live a different life.

Once you have a glimpse that the PTSD is not your essential nature, it’s easier to transform.

It takes courage and determination to break up the old neural patterns and programs, but you can do it. I did it. Underneath tremendous wisdom and gifts are hiding waiting to come out. The world needs your wisdom.

Get in gear, clean up the inner crap, and shine your light.

The future of humanity is in your hands. If you’re reading this, you’re educated and you have the skills to make the necessary changes. There’s a huge portion of humanity that doesn’t have the opportunity that you have. As you transform, all of humanity transforms.

It’s time to kick ass and create a new reality. Choose to create a better reality for yourself. I won't kid you, it takes great courage, perseverance, and hard work, but it is so worth it!